The fear of getting raped every time and everywhere

The 600 million women in India cannot be covered by a single narrative. Gender discrimination is the most prevalent form of discrimination in India. Because even though there is a caste system, women across castes and religions are discriminated against.

So, even though we have a government and a constitution that has always treated men and women equally, the bias lies in the society. The birth of a girl is followed by condolences and sympathies from well-wishers of the family. And those sympathies are well deserved. Not for the family though, but for the baby.

For as long as I can remember, I was never told that the House that I was living in was mine. But as soon as my brother was born, he was proclaimed as the heir to everything my family owns. The sense of belonging to the family you are born into is never developed. Because one is always told that they are Paraya Dhan or the property of the family they will marry into.

Rape: the victim is blamed

But I am one of the lucky ones. Lower-income households don’t have enough resources to send all their children to school. Thus, the gift of education is bestowed on the better investment, the son. And so we see female literacy at 65.46%. Even in the middle-class families, there is this fear of educating the daughters too much. Because if they are more educated than their prospective husbands, they won’t get married. The general lack of awareness is undeniably hurting our female population.

More importantly, all of this stems from the fear of the world outside. We are not given the freedom to wear what we want because our characters are assassinated on that basis. Although the situation has improved, there are still instances of catcalling. What hasn’t improved is the fear of getting raped every time a woman is outside her home after dark or takes a route that is strange or deserted. The worst thing about all of this is that ultimately it is the victim that is blamed. The society jumps onto the one time she wore a short skirt. Or that one boy she was seen talking to. And all of a sudden, the rape or the catcalling becomes her fault. Everything the perpetrators does is justified by „boys will be boys“.

Most women are still forced to marry

So, instead of all that, why not marry her off? Marriage is thought of as this protection from all crimes against women. In most families, a woman’s profession is only considered a hobby. Because when she gets married, which she has to, it is the husband who is the designated breadwinner. Women aren’t even trusted with the responsibility of choosing their grooms. In the name of freedom of choice, they get a minor say in who they can marry, after their families have vetted the prospective husbands. What we choose to ignore are marital rapes, domestic abuse, forced abortions and all those crimes that happen after marriage.

widows are excluded of the society

Dowry, an ancient practice, still humiliates families and discriminates against women. To avoid humiliation the bride’s family has to spend thousands and sometimes millions to satisfy the demands of the groom’s family. You can still read about instances where women were burnt alive or committed suicide when their families couldn’t pay dowry. Equally horrible is the treatment of widows. They are ostracised for being unlucky. Kept away from prospective brides to prevent their bad luck from rubbing off. They can’t wear makeup or dress in bright clothes. Because if they do then the society doesn’t shy from branding them as women of loose character. Even worse is the treatment of divorcees. This is not the life of a lot of women in the 21st century. But enough women are subject to this life for us to not ignore these incidents.

• 

  Bangladesh

  The world’s largest brothel
  

  Daulatdia – Sahajadi (30) is sitting in front of her shack, as she does every day waiting for a client. “I was born in a terrible pl…

The government and its policies are as much in favor of women as is possible. Schemes and programs like Beti Bachao Beti Padhao, Mahila e-Haat, One Stop Centre schemes, etc are making considerable progress. But these policies fail to have effect when women lack the awareness to use them to their advantage. We are a country where the religion of the majority is Hinduism. One of the few religions that still worship female deities. Yet, we are also the land of female foeticide. We are a society where women are considered the representatives of the values of a family. But we are also a society where the same women are discriminated against in their own homes. The situation has improved a great deal, but not at the pace at which it should. And I don’t think it will till the society is unable to overcome its bias and bigotry.

*Anmol Raina is an Indian journalist and editor in chief of the website WomenNow.in. She grew up in a small town at the feet of the Himalayas. Anmol mostly writes blogs on pop culture and issues that affect the masses. She is a feminist to the core, and hopes to work for the United Nations someday on their Women Empowerment projects.

WomenNow.in is a website for modern women in India. It combines topics such as beauty, love, sex, life advice, gender inequalities, female empowerment, and gives a voice to social matters like rape and acid attacks.